RC Mistletoe
by Ster J
Summary: A very odd gift is causing havoc for the top officers of the Enterprise--or is it acting as a matchmaker? SLASH


Title: RC Mistletoe

Author: Ster Julie

Codes: K/S, Advent Calendar

Rating: PG

Part 1 of 1

Summary: A very odd gift is causing havoc for the top officers of the _Enterprise_--or is it acting as a matchmaker?

--ooOoo--

It was hard to identify the exact moment the tiny sprig first appeared over the head of First Officer Spock. Even Spock's Vulcan hearing did not detect the sound of the small branch floating above him all over the ship even after some crew personnel pointed out the greenery. He was hard pressed _not_ to put on report the crew women who attempted to press their lips to his. Only the memories of his mother Amanda using such a ploy on his father Sarek kept him from following through on disciplining the women.

Spock _did_ notice, however, that Kirk seemed to be enjoying all the attention he was getting from the females on board due to this tiny sprig of parasitic plant. Spock sighed sadly. Here, right to his face, was a blatant example of Kirk's preference for the oh-so-opposite sex. Whoever had placed the poisonous plant over their heads obviously wanted to prove to Spock that he never would nor never could be invited to have a relationship with the object of his affection other than the professional, platonic one he already had with his superior officer. Once Spock was in his quarters, he would yank that despicable mistletoe down from over his head and send it out the nearest disposal chute.

The problem with that plan was that the plant would not enter his quarters, nor did it stay still long enough to allow him to grasp it in the hallway.

-

It was hard to identify the exact moment the tiny sprig first appeared over the head of Captain James T. Kirk. He didn't notice the small branch floating above him all over the ship until after some crew personnel pointed out the greenery. He nearly put on report the first crew woman who attempted to press her lips to his before he realized that there was a holiday plant above his head. He was all for tradition and, as he kissed back with gusto, who was he to break with tradition?

Kirk _did_ notice, however, that Spock did not seem so uncomfortable with all the attention he was getting from the females on board due to this tiny sprig of parasitic plant. Kirk sighed sadly. Here, right to his face, was a blatant example of Spock's preference for the oh-so-opposite sex. Whoever had placed the poisonous plant over their heads obviously wanted to prove to Kirk that he never would nor never could win over the heart of his beautiful Vulcan first officer. They would never do more than share the occasional chess game. They would have nothing more than the professional, platonic relationship he already had with his science officer. Once Kirk was in his quarters, he would space that damn mistletoe or better yet, use it for target practice!

The problem with that plan was that the plant would not enter his quarters, nor did it stay still long enough to allow him to grasp it in the hallway.

-

"I see you have been afflicted by the same prankster, Captain," Spock greeted his captain the next morning--a morning which followed a long, lonely night to which Spock had resigned himself.

"When I catch the joker that did this, I will have him, her, or it _keelhauled!"_ Kirk promised.

Behind the officer's backs, two heads popped up from their mess trays, eyes wide in fear.

_I thought you said they would know what to do! _one co-conspirator wrote on a slate._ I thought you said that they would kiss and realize their love for each other. Hell, everyone aboard ship knows it. Why don't they?_

_I don't know, _the other replied, _unless it's because everyone else can see the mistletoe, too, and they think our boys are just "asking for it"?_

_Is there a way to adjust it so that only Jim and Spock can see the mistletoe?_

_I'm a doctor, not an engineer!_

_Well, _now_ you have to be doctor, engineer and matchmaker besides. _

_This was _your_ idea, and I refuse to take the blame alone. Make it work or make it gone!_

-

On the bridge, Kirk eyed the floating flora above his head with disdain. He looked to Spock with pleading eyes that screamed _"Do something!"_

Spock pointedly looked at Kirk, then the railing, then back at Kirk as if ordering his captain, _"Sit down."_

Kirk nonchalantly took a seat on the stairs near the railing. With lightning fast reflexes, Spock spun, jumped and snagged the offending plant from over the Captain's head. Upon examination Spock found a micro anti-grav attached to the plant and a small motor besides.

"Well, Spock?" Kirk prompted.

"I understand the device, Captain," he replied. "It appears to be remote controlled mistletoe, but I am at a loss as to its purpose."

"Meaning, why we are the fortunate targets of some amorous matchmaking," Kirk supplied.

The captain suddenly noticed the extreme quiet of the bridge crew, as if they were all straining to hear the conversation while seemingly absorbed in watching their boards. Kirk drew in a quick breath as the pieces fell into place. Neither he nor Spock was in need of appearing more attractive to the opposite sex. They both had more attention than they could ever want and nearly had to beat the women off with a stick. No, perhaps the ersatz yenta was trying to push the two officers and friends to that next step.

Kirk walked slowly away from his first officer and mounted the step to the center seat. He spun around and gave the Vulcan his best _"Come hither"_ look.

Spock watched as Kirk considered the implications of all they had experienced for the past day. He could identify the moment Kirk arrived at his conclusion, but instead of sharing it with him, the captain turned and, in a blatant display of his physique, strutted to the command chair. Kirk then turned and gave Spock a sultry gaze that took away the Vulcan's breath. Spock found all his answers, both current and eternal, in that look. This whole stunt had been staged for their benefit.

Spock moved toward Kirk with slow, deliberate steps. He handed Kirk the mistletoe the Vulcan had removed from over his head and said in a low purr, "I believe you know what to do with this."

Kirk gave Spock one of his trademark grins as he took the mistletoe in one hand and the back of Spock's neck with the other hand.

There was a crackle of electricity when two sets of lips met. A quiet cheer went up from several of the bridge duty stations as the long-awaited kiss continued. Finally, the bosun's whistle sounded and McCoy's voice could be heard.

"About bloody time, you two!"

END


End file.
